All posts by urbancasuality

About urbancasuality

Philosophical insight from my head and hearth, r trying to find answers on mankinds oldest sercrets





Deva means divine, Madhyama means the middle – the divine middle. The extreme is the disease,
and the mind lives through the extremes. The mind always thinks in terms of either/or, and reality is
just exactly in the middle. It is never either/or; it is both/and. It is neither day nor night, neither life
nor death, neither body nor soul. It is somewhere between the two, exactly between the two.
And exactly in the middle is also the point from where transcendence happens, from where you go
beyond both.

To be in the middle is to go beyond both. Health and great balance, silence, come through this
understanding. Because extremes create tensions and excitements, they create heaven and hell.
And the mind is always a chooser, it lives through choosing. The moment you stop choosing
and allow life to be as it is, you immediately fall into the middle. Let-go is the way of the middle.
Choicelessness is the meaning of let-go; Then you allow life, whatsoever it brings. Buddha calls it
the philosophy of suchness, ’tathata’, the philosophy of as-it-is-ness. Let it be as it is: when it is
night, it is night; don’t hanker for the day. When it is day, it is day; don’t ask for the night. When it is
pain it is pain; when it is pleasure it is pleasure. Don’t choose, allow it to happen. Slowly, slowly a
great understanding arises out of this allowing, out of this let-go. And that understanding makes you
alert, aware that you are separate from both. You are neither life nor death: you are just a witness.
That witnessing is Buddhahood, that witnessing is enlightenment. And to be in the middle is the way
to it.

So let this be your key: never go to the extreme, always keep in the middle, like a tightrope walker.
Slowly, slowly, the knack arises. Once you have understood how to be in the middle the mind
disappears on its own accord, because it cannot exist in the middle; that is the secret of the work.
It can exist only in the extreme, opposite to something, diametrically opposed to something. It is a
chooser: it can either love or hate. It cannot rest in the middle without choosing, without prejudice.It cannot allow things to have their own way. It interferes, it tries to impose itself upon reality. Reality
is, God is, and all is already as it should be. We have just to relax and allow it to be.

What Traveling can teach you about Friendship

Having real friends in your life is a blessing, but being one is the goal. The value of real friends should be one of the things to learn from traveling. Over the years, the most beautiful words have been written about friendship. But all of them are understatements.

Everyone needs a supportive friend

Traveling makes women feel extremely empowered, self-reliant and adventuresome. These types of well-built feelings occur, especially when you solo travel AKA run the world, like Beyonce would sing at this point. However, even Queen B didn’t just become the ultimate Survivor on her own. She had two soldier girls beside her, when she still had bills, bills, bills to pay, and was about to bloom into the independent, bootylicious woman that all of us now love.

Being strong in a speedy society is essential, but knowing who you can count on is justly as significant. What would be the reason behind all the art, if there was nobody to see it? What would be the reason behind music and everything written, if there were no one to hear or read it? Thus, all of us wandering Miss Independent’s need a true friend to support us. We are not meant to be alone, even if we sometimes think we are.

They see the magical cuckoo in you

There are 204 countries, 809 islands and 7 seas. And you were lucky enough to meet your friends. They care about you despite the unshared DNA, despite that fact that you are always late, forget to call, and even if you are little nuts in general. Your friends are the people that make you laugh louder, and don’t judge for still waiting a letter from Hogwarts. They have the ability to see the true magic inside of you, even when you are hexing them with cursing spells.

They help, especially when it’s time to leave and come back

Real friends help you to pack all the crucials for your trips. Passport, courage, your smile and a belief that’s it’s all going to be alright. Real friends offer you a ride to the airport at 4 AM on Sunday morning, no matter how many times they have picked you up from there, at the same time. Furthermore, real friends are package deals. They are like therapists, siblings and wardrobes, conventionally all in one. That’s why it’s crucial to choose wisely; same sized.

They don’t care about your private jet

In your life you will probably meet legions of those people, who will want to hop on to a private jet with you, but unlikely several of those, who are willing to pick you up, when that infamous jet is badly out of order.

These people are the ones that wait you to come back when you are gone, and help you to unpack your luggage, no matter what kind of baggage you travel with. Real friends are authentic, incomplete and treasured. However, unfortunately, they don’t fit suitcases.

They never forget or give up on you

Real friends are like stars. Sometimes you loose them out of your sight, and sometimes you don’t see them at all, but they are there. Forever. Real friends don’t ever stop contacting you, even when you have been too busy, while chilling at the beach for the past 6 months. True friends don’t expect anything, they are grateful for every moment they share with you.

They care about you, despite your credit card depth

Real friends join you for a road trip, no matter how many times you have already almost killed them. Real friends send you post cards, even though you never have space for their souvenirs. In essence, real friends send you the pair of forgotten shoes that you can’t live without – already knowing that they will never get the money back from postal charges. Real friends offer you a couch, when you come back from your journey, with  – USD500 in your bank account. And of course, without a job and a place to stay.

They are not always the ones you expect them to be

Real friends are not always the ones you have known since the 90s, sometimes they are the ones that came into your life with one-way ticket, when you least expected it. The times change, people change, life changes. The real shit never changes.

They love you more than anyone

Real friends sometimes love you more than you even love yourself. And they definitely love you more than the douchebag you mistakenly spent your travel budget for.

Make time for them, work for your peer-to-peer relationship, and care about them. Eternal friendships are like cherry blossoms. They bloom rarely, but when they do, they are serene, well-rounded and enchantingly beautiful. They make you to see the world as a better place.

via Travelettes » What Traveling has Taught me about Friendship.

25 Signs You’re Succeeding At Life (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It) – OracleTalk

We’ve all had days, weeks, months and — for some — even years of dark days and depression. Whether we fall into ruts of self-sabotage, loneliness or insecurity, leading a happy, joyful life can sometimes feel like a chore.

Most of us are so busy trying to dodge life bullets, we forget to stop and appreciate the little victories.

Consider for a moment that you’re doing a tremendous job at life. Living isn’t an easy thing to do, but it can be enjoyable when we start to see the good instead of focusing on the bad.

You are actually living a good life by recognizing these 25 signs:

  1. Your relationships are less dramatic than they use to be.

  2. You may not have as much money as you want but you live a rich life.

  3. You’re not afraid to ask for help and support.

  4. Where you live feels like home.

  5. You’ve raised your standards.

  6. You let go of things that don’t make you feel good.

  7. You have moments where you appreciate who you see in the mirror.

  8. You’re working on limiting your inner critic and consciously choosing more positive thoughts.

  9. You’ve learned that setbacks and failure are part of self-growth.

  10. You have a support system that includes people who would do anything for you.

  11. You hear “I love you” often, from friends, family or a partner.

  12. You’ve accepted what you can’t change, but change what you can’t accept.

  13. You don’t complain much, but instead focus on solutions.

  14. You don’t blame your parents, and accept them for who they are.

  15. You stopped caring about what others think of you.

  16. You’re happy for your exes when they move on.

  17. You can celebrate others’ successes.

  18. You allow yourself to feel your feelings and are comfortable sharing them.

  19. You have passions that you pursue.

  20. You’re able to accept compliments without deflecting.

  21. You have things to look forward to.

  22. You have goals that have come true.

  23. You have empathy for others.

  24. You feel connected to your work.

  25. You love deeply and open yourself up to be loved by others.

via 25 Signs You’re Succeeding At Life (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It) – OracleTalk.



I wake up

think on him


listen on music 


do something

why do I feel like this

even he treated me like shit

and cancelled this relationship off

without saying it in my face

And I still miss him

I don’t wanne miss him anymore

he hates me

I don’t wanne care anymore

but I care




My babe

my little one

my best friend



Don’t really DON’T feel hurt my dear.
DON’T develope rage. Don’t run behind.
And trust me: DON’T RUN BEHIND HIM.
It’s not worth it.

It will only run into a kind of game, were the roles are clearly devided. If you run behind him in order to convince him to come back, you actually honor him for his bad behaviour.
This was never clear to me. Just recently I figured that out.
It’s one of the worst mistakes you can do, because he things whatever he does, you will be available anyways. And this is fucking deathly.

I know you loved him. More than anything on this planet.
But give your love to the whole world.
Love universal.
Love life.
Be excited.
Be yourself.
You are good!

The person who brakes up with you many and many times is:
somebody who can not decide for his own sake and luck.
You will be made as responsible for the unhappyness inside him
till he decides to leave once more.

Give up the thinking.
Give up the love.
Give up the idea that he ever was your best friend.


But never forget the Love of yourself.
You are brilliant.
You are beautyfull.


Right now I can not imagine an incident of falling in love better than the one with the past relationship or the ex-love of my life.

I loved him.

There are no words to describe that.

it went bad.

i went sad.

He went away.

okey okey


Screen Shot 2014-06-08 at 10.08.12 am

You think on them, because, you still love them.
Or your Ego has a problem with rejection.
You definately need to figure this out for yourself.

If you are the dumped your cards aren’t the best.
And in the cards of dumpee I can not look.

So the best is:

Ask yourself the question, what do you wanne see on the photo at the end of your life.
Direct your life as you want it to be.
DRAW your life how YOU want it.

Enjoy the loneliness
enjoy the peace of your mind.
Meet other men
meet other woman.
Go out.


Forget all the good things.
Emphazise the bad things.
The things you didn’t like on that person.

Forget that he or she was once your lover,
your best friend,
the person you wanted to spend your life with.

Would your best friend go without saying good bye?
No, he or she wouldn’t.
Your best friend would talk to you,
and tell you why he is leaving.

Instead the opposite.

Your best friend would have treated you with courage,
not discourage.

Stop thinking on the good in that person.
Stop wishing him the best.

The opposite of love is not hate – it’s equality.
This is the aim.
This has to be the aim.
For your own happiness.

Its gone.
It’s over.

It doesn’t exist.
It never existed.

Don’t feel hurt.
Feel good.

Don’t cry.

Just give a fuck.
You are to precious.
You are too good.
You are too good to feel sad.

I love you.
Because you are me.


When a couple enters into a relationship, they bring into the relationship a lot from their past. If it is not disposed of, it affects the interpersonal relationship between the two.

If you have in some way been emotionally scarred prior to entering a new relationship and those scars remain unhealed, then you may be inadvertently and unintentionally contaminating the relationship.

If you have had a painful and combative relationship with either one or both of your parents, you may have great difficulty relating freely with your partner.

Sigmund Freud’s view is that all symptoms, strange and unhealthy ways of thinking and behaving, are due to an effort to cope with and adjust with life, which though necessary to survive at a particular time and in a particular environment, might not be appropriate in the present scenario.

In addition to emotional scars, we also carry thoughts, feeling and behaviour patterns of our childhood in our body-mind. Each person has three ego states, which are distinct sources of behaviour; the parent ego state, the child ego state and the adult ego state. When you are acting, thinking and feeling as you observed your parents to be doing, you are in your parent ego state. When you are feeling and acting as you did when you were a child, you are in your child ego state. When you are dealing with current reality, gathering facts and computing objectively, you are in your adult ego state.

The truth is that you cannot give away what you do not have. If your heart is encumbered with pain and angst, and if your mind is controlled by unconscious childhood patterns, you cannot give unencumbered love to anyone. You become part of the ‘pain chain’, wherein your own victimisation is transferred to other people; a ‘victim’ creates another ‘victim’ and the ‘pain chain’ goes on.

Don’t delude yourself into thinking that you can effectively compartmentalise your emotional pain and keep it from infecting your relationship. It requires immense amounts of energy even to keep it contained, where it constantly bubbles waiting to erupt. Moreover, the very fact that so much of energy is devoted to containment of the pain undeniably changes you. In fact, if there is anything worse than having a problem, it is denying that you have one.

You may have been victimised but understand that those who have victimised you have themselves been a victim of circumstances. One victim victimises another. And you create more victims if you don’t consciously choose to break the ‘pain chain’.

I am not suggesting that you as a child were accountable for what happened to you. Having said that, accountability would mean that the adult (grown child) holds the responsibility for what he or she does about the aftermath of painful events in life.

If you are aware in the present, you break away from past and you create a new future, and you heal—you are no more a victim, but a survivor.